That's my Bitch!

I’m starving. I can’t decide where I wanna go on my lunch break. I took my dog to the vet today. Found out he’s a she. Her name is still Sage. She doesn’t have fleas. But ughh she has worms. The vet said not to worry cause almost all puppies get it. But I’m sad for her. At least now I can buy all of the pink stuff that I wanted for her when I thought she was a he. But I was tempted to dress him in pink anyway and my excuse was going to be “real men wear pink”. ‘Cause if I am not mistaken 'men' and 'dog' are interchangeable. Speaking of men and their correlation to dogs; Hero. I’ve called him twice since we “hooked up” and no answer or return calls. It really sux cause I have a strong urge to see him now. Both sexually and non-sexually. I got tons of new lingerie with my Victoria’s Secret gift card that I got for Christmas. *Why did a local newspaper put a fucking ugly ass candid in the club picture of me in the party section? Don’t they like need permission for that or something? * But back to Hero. He said he was confused and still had emotions wrapped up in our situation. I wish that we could be friends cause I miss him.

What did you get?

For Christmas, I got a leather jacket, some pajamas, underwear, clothes, money, gift-cards, a pit bull- SAGE!, bath and body stuff, sunglasses, foot spa thing and some Hero. Yeah, you read it right I got some Hero. Christmas night when I left the club, I called him and he answered. But before we get to that. The club was off the hook. Everybody who’s somebody was there. My cousin hosted it and so my whole family was kinda there. I had fun. And even before that; I saw Hero and his family at church. No one spoke. But yeah, I called Hero after the club. To make a long story short, I went to visit. He was home alone. We, to say the least, made out. I’m happy that we could see each other. It felt comfortable. But most importantly I learned a lesson – what we had is not a game, it’s not something that can be manipulated and all of the mistakes we make and forgive – it’s because what we had was real. I guess that when I am sad or hurt I fortget that he loved me just like I loved him and nothing can erase that for either of us. My feelings toward him haven’t swayed in a different direction. Except I didn’t know how he felt about me. Now I do. So, that’s cool.

9#752083#56783#223142487236####2

That’s the number I dialed last night after I dialed Hero’s number. Last night was the most fun I had since Spring Break in Atlanta. My friend and I went to a “business” dinner with these two guys but in turned out to be a menagerie of gut busting laughter. The silliest stuff that we were all too old and intelligent to laugh at had us, well at least me and one of the guys, literally on the floor laughing our assess off. Like this lady with really broad shoulders and a small head. We all kept going on about how she should be on Men in Black and every time somebody would make a mistake, we would ask her (not to her face) to rewind time for us. {you probably had to be there huh?} But the shit was funny then. I had two shots of Remi XOXO, a Level and OJ and two Long Island Ice Teas. But anyway yeah, we just laughed at everyone there and at each other all night. When it was all over, they had to drive us home ‘cause we couldn’t do it. I love good clean fun. Of course attempts were made to get dirty with the fun but nothing serious and no pressure. It wasn’t that type of party. I guess most of the humor was “had to be there” kinda stuff. But as usual when things wrapped up, I called Hero. I had been doing good, like two weeks I think. But today I don’t care about him at all or feel crazy about calling or anything. I am so totally apathetic on the whole Hero thing.


I forgot that yesterday in the daytime was great for me too. Remember I got my settlement check right? Well my friend got her settlement from that whole Abercrombie class action lawsuit thing. So we kept doing hilarious dances and screaming “I’m rich fool”! Then we went to the mall and on the way there we turned on our most proper voices and called everybody that looked at us poory. Isn’t it funny to but y’s on adjectives where they don’t belong, like smally? So at the mall we acted really rich and pretended that we only shopped at the best stores and looked down on people who were probably wealthy for real. Being rich was fun.

Gotta do better

I’ll list a few in no particular order…finish unpacking…forget Hero…have sex with Hero one more time…cook a complete meal for a guy friend…get some new lingerie…see “The MVP” over Christmas break…get at least 3/5 A’s…get my car detailed…mail Christmas cards…get a manicure…get a pedicure…blog ten days in a row…

Those were my goals…Let’s just say I have unpacked. Dropped a class. Got two B’s so far. Car and nails are a mess. Cards are addressed but not mailed. And haven’t really been thinking about Hero. Except Saturday when I was sick and I thought about how he was like the best male nurse ever. He always used to go and get me medicine and crackers and reward me for taking medicine when I didn’t want to. If it wasn’t for him, I never would have taken Alka-Seltzer. This is now my drug of choice for hangovers and flu like symptoms. Damn-it, now I miss him.

Lights Out

I think I black out. Last night, I had so much going on inside of my head that I think I blacked out. It’s like I think and think until I fall asleep. But, its not regular sleep; it’s like a “can’t remember anything prior” to kinda sleep. Then I kept waking up like every two hours very disoriented. Small stuff was driving me crazy. Like I sleep with my cell phone in the bed with me and never in the history of doing so have I made it fall to the floor and not noticed. But last night I did and when I woke up and couldn’t find it, I momentarily panicked. My sleep life is so fragile. Before, after and during, I can’t rest lately. It’s getting kind of scary. My last final is in a few hours; for my computer class. I should ace it. I got a B in Business Ethics. That’s great ‘cause I probably went to that class a total of ten times thru the semester. Thank God for that. Plus I turned in every single assignment late. I still have a paper to write. On that note, I suck cause it was due Wednesday. Why they kill Tookie? I don’t think his actions (the books and speeches) erased what he was accused of but damn 20+ years is what’s killing me. He should have lived just on the strength that he had to wait so long to die. I got on a Kangol and some bad ass earrings. Sometimes I like the rushed but still so fly look. The other night I was dreaming about the MVP then my phone rang. That pissed me off. Maybe I should go to the doctor concerning my sleep issues cause I really think I black out.

I suck

I suck as a fan. Pharrell was in my city, at a club, open to the public, and I didn’t go. I believe in my heart that he is God’s gift to me. When I found out he was here - I think I had a panic attack. Seriously, I couldn’t think straight and my leg was shaking. My hair was a royal mess. I had nothing to wear and no one wanted to go with. What if this was my chance? I love him. He was built for me, super skinny, super sexy, super smart, extra fly, rich, famous!!! Here I go again, panicking. I cannot believe I didn't see him. I should have just waited outside for a glimpse or something.

My new favorite thing, my stress and my tithes.

How did I do it? I have only had XM Radio for four days and already I cannot imagine my life without it. I feel like I am in the twilight zone, listening to Grafh curse his life away live. They play so much stuff that regular radio doesn’t. I guess I never realized that it’s kinda like cable radio. Man, hearing obscenities left and right, uncut versions of songs and all new stuff is like the best feeling ever. It’s a sad day in the world when cursing excites you, but it does. I love XM Radio. Back in the lab, on my grind. Finishing a paper. The semester is so almost over, I am so almost blissful. Today, right now though, I am kinda stressed. But if I go on a date later, that should alleviate some stress. Man, I should have went to church today. I got up and everything but something kept me away. I pray I make it next week. I should though, ‘cause that way I know I will pay my tithes from my settlement. $1,000 to the church. Lord, help me to be a cheerful giver. Not bitter at all, more in disbelief. Never imagined that I would part with that much money in that fashion. But I know the blessings that tithes brings so hey, gotta do what I gotta do.

Sorry you gotta squint...

One time I met this man at a club. We went to breakfast afterwards. We did some crazy drunk stuff in the restaurant bathroom/ basement. He called me for like ever afterwards trying to hook up ewww. I saw him the other day at the gas station. He has a bomb-ass car. He filled my tank up and told me not to leave him hanging this time. He always wears really nice clothes. Probably a drug dealer, claimed to be a doctor. Anyway, I never called him and now he’s next to me at the computer lab. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Christmas is coming kinda early

Pretty uneventful weekend. Still on a crash course to the semesters end. I have two final exams and two papers and like two projects. Then it’s a wrap!!! It was my little sister’s birthday on Saturday. She had a kinda big party. Friends and family. Like 5 teachers from her school came. That was neat. I dumped a friend this weekend. Let’s call her CB. (No comment on the name) But she made a real snake like move, when I found out, I figured since I barely liked her anyway I may as well call it quits. So, I did. The best thing about this weekend is that I finally settled my claim on my car accident. Don’t know if I ever mentioned but this old ass lady totaled my car back in March. I got a new one in April but the claim still wasn’t settled. Now it almost is. Anyway, the adjuster called and was like “What do you want from this?” I was dumbfounded. I am not trained at putting a dollar amount on my pain and suffering. I started to say like 4 G’s. But I just said “I don’t know.” Then she said “how about $9,100.” I was like “WHAT?”. Then she said “Okay, I can make it $10,000”. She playin, she playin! No she’s not. So I told her okay and she said she would mail the agreement and as soon as I signed and returned it, I would get my scrilla. I said okay but now I’m thinking since that was only like her first offer, I could probably get more. So, Monday, I am gonna call back and ask for twelve. It’s worth a try huh? If not, I can think of something to do with a ten stack.