I miss my Savior

I wanna see the Lord. I have not been to church in, at the very least, 2 months. I miss church so much. I told myself that after my brush with death, I would definitely go. But I didn’t. Can’t figure out why I am avoiding what used to be my favorite place. I guess because my actions lately have been embarrassing in God’s eyes and I know this. In some ways, I have reverted to that sinner that I prayed so hard to get away from. God answered that prayer truthfully and suddenly and now I am relapsing. Plus, I don’t wanna see Hero’s family. See, I used to mainly go to his church. I know that they hate me now. Usually, I am so un-caring about anybody else not liking me but I am just not ready to face them for some reason. Maybe cause I would feel the need to explain that I didn’t do what they think I did. Or maybe I am upset with God, because he took my Hero and the whole breaking in thing. (Plus all of the other negativity that is happening concurrently.) But I know more than anything I am and should be grateful that I survived the attempted break in. I thank God often for that. Like the old folks say, its just the devil. So, next Sunday, I am going to church. Devil can’t have my joy!