Discombobulated

The walls seemed to be collapsing around me last night. I don't know why. I watched TV and I saw flight 292 make the miraculous landing. They played "The Rapper"'s song on the radio. That was an exciting feeling. I haven't talked to Hero since Sunday morning. He emailed me yesterday, a lot is going on with him. One of his good friends, who I have bad blood with, is in the hospital. I'm sick that he won't allow me to be there for him. I've seen his tears before and I still thought we could talk about anything. We're really not the same, I guess. I'm tired of chasing him though. I have no intentions of calling him. But if he calls me, I'll answer. I haven't been at my apt. since the "break-in". The only thing I ate yesterday was like 5 Pringles so right before I went to sleep, my head begin to pound. Migraines always depress me. They just cause a really why me this is so unfair kinda pain. So as I laid there and let my problems circulate thru my throbs, I decided to pray. For the first time in months, I dropped to my knees and prayed. I prayed for Hero's friend and her family. I prayed that "The Rapper" would have success. I prayed that I could be there for him in the ways he asks and not ruin it 'cause I like him a lot. I prayed that God help me to control my emotions. I think I prayed to get back with Hero, or maybe I prayed to get away from him. Whichever, I want our stuff settled. I thanked God for saving the lives of the 146 people on that flight. I prayed about a new apartment and my financial situation. But I mostly prayed to know what I really need to pray for.