Daytime Drama..

I think I ruined it. Hero told me that he had sex with his old girlfriend. It hurt me really deep. Don't know why. Mostly because he was anxious to tell me. I knew he would try to pay me back. So, I momentarily went nutz. Never had intentions of harming anyone or anything. Just tried to embarrass / hurt him like he did me. I regret my actions though. Cause as soon as I was done, I realized I didn't even care. Then afterwards I went on my own date with my new rapper friend. Had fun, he has a good attitude. I kissed him. Haven't kissed anybody besides Hero since like forever. Haven't made any decisions about him yet. He has his pros and cons. As far as Hero, I feel so partial about him. Like I could never talk to him again and be okay. But maybe I'll miss him sooner than I think. Comfortable with letting "time tell". That's a good feeling. He probably will never talk to me again after I acted a fool with the ex, that he said he slept with. Oh well. Starting to believe the most frequent advice I receive concerning him, "Let him go, if it's meant to be, he'll be back". Actin a fool on the phone with her was just a small part of my 100+ degree day. I ran out of gas. Got lost trying to find a company picnic and I'm broke. But hanging out with "The Rapper" was a good feeling. Felt like a real man.