Grown Ass Men Say the Darnest Things

Semi-X Rated
The dude I did that wasn't my guy. - It was the weirdest day ever. He used the weirdest adjectives, slang and euphemisms to describe me and our experience. Sparing (or depriving the perverts) you the details, I'll explain. We watched a movie and laid in the bed for less than 5 minutes before his hands were all over me. He perused and complimented me on every detail of my body for like two hours. It was bizarre ‘cause he seemed so excited. I had never experienced anything like it before. (Maybe cause I've been with one person for five years prior to this). The word he most often used was "Fire“. Everything was fire. My this was fire my that was fire. FIRE, FIRE ,FIRE! Finally I stopped him and made him explain how the word fire was applicable to my body parts. He explained and I was flattered. Except that he said my “Booty feels fat“. Everyone who knows me knows that the truest thing about me is my fLat booty. He said "Well I don't know how it looks, but it feels fat“. Thanks. Anyway, as the night proceeded I gave in to his well-intended, ghetto based, still somehow amusing compliments. Somewhere along the way, he commenced to calling me "Hurricane Harbor”, and said "The Mississippi ain't got nothing on you“. This adult Negro described my most prized possession as a muddy river; littered with barges, dead bodies, living creatures and Casino Boats. He literally scared me cause he screamed my name like my hair was on fire - when he was on top! He was so serious. This is much less of a brag on my part than it is a question. Why? What is it that can really make him act a buffoon? I kept looking around like are we sharing this experience on is he in a much better place than me. Not downplaying his skills at all. To say the least, he beat it up. But I just couldn’t believe his high level of excitement. I don't know, I guess no matter the situation or how old you are, the right words can still be hard to find.