Got a blesing, now where's my gift?

Hallelujah. Everytime I am right by God, my blessing are instant and obvious. So guess what, on my way to church, I found a new apartment. Praise the Lord Saints. Church was good, even though I didn’t have my little church notebook that I take great pride in keeping organized. But that’s okay. I enjoyed the sermon. We read from Isaiah 6:1-8. This scripture related to ministry and to being unholy in the presence of holiness. The preacher said that if you surrendered yourself to God, He can and will use you in the most magnificent ways. I hope that God uses me. I don’t know if I am surrendered fully to the Lord. I hope so, but I doubt it ‘cause I’m usually sinning in one way or another. I’m not bragging. I realized today at church (when the pastor was talking about being in the midst of unholy people) that I sin sometimes for that exact reason. I sometimes think the world is so bad that I may as well indulge. That’s a horrible way to think. I also wondered what my gift was. The preacher said that everybody has a gift and that if you let God “arrest” your soul, and used your gift to His glory, you would find fulfillment. We celebrated all of the October birthdays during service. This one lady turned 102 today. WOW! If I live to be that old, I definitely wanna do it with the Lord. Shoot, that’s probably the only way to live a century plus 2. I wasn’t totally focused at church today, I thought about my new place and about some other stuff. Every time my mind strayed I prayed to stay on track. I guess I just gotta get back in the church groove. Maybe after a few good Sundays, maybe a message from the Holy Spirit and releasing some of my bad feelings towards certain people, I’ll find my gift.