Missing my memories

Today, I realized that I forgot Hero. I can only remember him at the most superficial level. Like of course I know who he is and I remember certain things and if I saw him, I’d know him. But I don’t have any emotions attached to those memories anymore. Although it’s only been like a few months since we’ve been intimate, I, even with effort can’t remember how his kisses taste. I can’t hear his voice in my head at all. Or his smell that I loved, I can think of it but I can’t really smell it. I guess there’s two types of memories; the kind that are only in your head and then the kind that exist within your senses. I’m so far removed from him that I can’t even dream about him anymore or at least I can’t remember those dreams. Last night, I missed him a lot as I feel asleep then when I woke up, I knew I had a really good dream ‘cause I felt so happy but I had no idea what the dream was. So since I can’t really remember him, I’m wondering how then am I able to miss him. Can you miss something that you’ve never had? Cause isn’t this kinda like the same thing? It’s bittersweet ‘cause maybe this means I am getting over him but it makes missing him worse when I can’t use memories to ease the pain.