When it hurts so bad....

Hero betta be lying. I am so serious. He called me the day before he left to go back for Spring Break. He was all like “you may not wanna be friend anymore.” I’m like why, there was hesitation and then he told me that he had a baby on the way. What the fuck? This is unbelievable, he disgusts me. So the story is some dumb whore is saying she is pregnant, he is saying he is not certain that it is his. Too disgusted to go into detail. But I got off work early. He came over we talked for a few hours. I got too far emotional with him. The way I never said I would again. We did not fight but I cried and told him I wanted to be with him. But I don’t. I am sad when I dwell on it. Even though for some reason, I think he is lying. Actually I pray that he is. But anyway, I can’t be too sad about it because I have too much other good stuff going on. So I gotta shake it off. I just wanna hope the best for him and be done with that whole shenanigan by the name of Hero. This too shall pass. Why do I feel so good?

There in no excuse....

I am feeling so uninspired to write but I don’t know why cause shit has been happening. Let’s see I think I have been to visit Hero at least twice. Plus he is here now and has been to my house twice. The first time was great we watched movies, had good conversation. Afterwards I felt nervous though cause it seems that the sex brought out emotions in both of us. I don’t wanna go falling back in love with him again. But during, I got kinda teary eyed and said “I miss you” Then he said “I miss you too”. Wonder what that was all about? Who knows? But, the second time was sucky. He stayed for less than two hours. The sex was good but cut short due to perhaps temporary E.D.. Then afterwards I tried to call him and say I felt weird but he apparently didn’t really care or was already busy cause he kinda blew it off. Anyway that’s the not the meat of my life between this and the last blog. I was arrested for PETTY LARCENY, DISTURBING THE PEACE, and CARRYING A CONCEALED WEAPON. No, I am not a rapper and no, it has nothing to do with The Rapper. It was one small mistake that sent me on a downward spiral fueled by racism and lack of respect for authority (or refusing to even acknowledge police as authority). See I accidentally walked out of Claire’s Boutique with a $3 necklace on my neck. I went to return it, on my own free will. And the teeny bopping white whore manager pressed charges. Then the police came and he and I had a verbal altercation because he made too many racially profiled remarks. Then I just screamed to the top of my lungs in the mall and was arrested for DTP. Disturbing the peace, that’s some BS! Right Chingy? Anyway right before I was released on my $1300 bond, the dumb ass officer found my knife in my purse. I already saw an attorney though. The plan is to have all charges dropped or amended to lesser ones. So no fear there. Just a big waste of money. I’m fasting…no meat during the week, until I am acquitted. THAT’S HILARIOUS!!! So that’s that. Church. Been two weeks in a row. Pretty nice time. Learned that the devil is the prince of the air and is responsible for tornadoes, hurricanes and such. Interesting. Check Ephesians for more info. I felt so empowered when the preacher taught the things that we have authority thru God over. Like, demons, sickness, weather, lack and sin. I took authority over the anxiety that affects my sleep last night. I think it worked. I’ll keep trying until it does. What else? I have been doing just excellent in school .I have three definite A’s and I am flirting with an A and a B in Espanol. So in summation, I am a studious, Christian criminal, possibly back in love with Hero. Oh and trying to get to Vegas for the upcoming fight.