Great Expectations

I bought a new magazine last night. The premiere issue of Suede. It's pretty decent. Some interesting stuff, some bizarre art. I scratched off some game pieces in the magazine and went online today to see if I won. I didn't. I was disappointed because I had a feeling I would win these earrings. It's weird how you expect things so much that they become real in your eyes. I saw myself in those earrings. Something told me that I would win them. I often expect too much. The other day, I found out a 18 y/o friend of mine is pregnant. I was so sad and I said "I thought you were going to college and you wanted to do this and that and ...". She's happy though, she thinks it's a blessing. Plus, she reminded me that she never said she was even going to college. I guess that we saw different things for her future. By the way, why do people think God would bless them for fornication. *God speaks* "You had unprotected sex outside of marriage and so as a direct result, I am going to bless you". NOT! Back to me and my plans for everyone else. Formulating scenarios in my head, is a really bad habit. When I call my boyfriend, I've already mapped out what I'll say and then what he'll say. When it doesn't go as planned, I feel like I don't know him. Sometimes, my feeling are hurt because I'd imagined he'd say something really sweet and he doesn't. Oh yeah, Suede,; I was kinda pissed that when you visit the website you can get this premiere issue, that I paid for, for free. Since I didn't win the earrings, could I at least get my $3.50 back? It feels good though having a magazine for young, black females. So I won't complain.