I got some more goals

Three seemingly happy blogs in a row. What are the chances of that? Well look back, the past few are about happy days or happy weekends. So that’s my motivation that I was looking for I guess. I decided that I should set one new goal for myself each day. (I bet you thought it stopped here) Today, I am going to the library and complete a 7 page Excel project for my computer class, which I often refer to as “remedial”. But yeah, that’s my goal. Tomorrow, my goal is to forget Hero. Seriously, it is hard, especially when I think of certain shit. Like all that I have done for and or with him. I kinda feel like I stood by him thru the trying years and now easy street is approaching and I am not reaping any benefits. But I guess when I look at it from his perspective, the same applies. But talking about him won’t help me forget. What will? God maybe. Maybe not, cause I’ve been praying to forgive him but it has not worked. So for a while, I will be blogging my successes and failures as it relates to my goals. I’ll list a few in no particular order…finish unpacking…forget Hero…have sex with Hero one more time…cook a complete meal for a guy friend…get some new lingerie…see “The MVP” over Christmas break…get at least 3/5 A’s…get my car detailed…mail Christmas cards…get a manicure…get a pedicure…blog ten days in a row…Well that’s enough for now. Don’t wanna get ahead of myself cause that’s when I get overwhelmed.

All good things come to an end

When Jessica Simpson and Nick Lechey can’t make it, is there any hope in the world? Really? I loved them together. Even though it didn’t seem like he liked her. He loved her. Why did I chill like I was Jessica Simpson today? I skipped school and work. Took the longest, hottest, shower ever. I washed my hair and straightened it. I cooked my self breakfast and lunch. (Crunch berries and a deli sandwich) But still! I put on cute pajamas, watched TV and chilled. I must’ve thought I was a damn rich housewife. Well they say - practice makes perfect. I needed one more day of vacation. But that too, has come to an end so tomorrow, I’m back on my grizzly (my grind, my j-o-b, you know). Actually, I’m on the grizzind this evening. I am at school, doing all work. Somebody calls me “My straight A girl” and I wanna live up to that. I don’t know I guess I felt like just doing me today. Times are a lot happier for me lately. I’m ready to be successful, kinda found out that graduation is closer than I think and so my full time position I had been planning and interning for has been offered to me again. Can you say $49,000 / year? Plus benefits! I can. As a matter of fact, I am saying it right now. So even though the newlyweds are about to be the newly divorced, I liked my today.

Slurred speeches

I got drunk again. On a Monday night. I quit drinking now though ‘cause I was being too stupid. Let’s see, I went to Monday night football. It wasn’t crowded but the male female ratio was like 6:1. Even still we bought our own drinks. Where are the real men? Well one man offered to buy my drink but he was a day late and a dollar short ‘cause I just got two Grey Goose and OJ for the price of one. Grey Goose is like one of the few liquors that I actually enjoy drinking, flavor wise. But yeah, it got me pretty toasted. So as usual, I started sending mushy text messages and voicemails. Hero hated me last night. I sent “The Rapper” some too. But I’m not going to get into that ‘cause I am sticking to my promise. The worst / funniest one , which I forgot about until this morning, is that I sent Hero a picture of “The Rapper”. What was I thinking? Oh, yeah I wasn't thinking. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck!. This is not the way to get my man back. I need to chill. So this morning, I woke up and prayed and laid and prayed and laid. Cause I know he will be here for the holiday and it saddens me to know I won't see him. Well kinda. In a way I kinda don't care about not seeing him. I wanna see him one day though. Maybe in January. I hope I don't run into him, now that would sadden me. Oh I hate beng drunk. But today is a good day for me, thats what I decided.

Almost Does Count

I’m on vacation from school this week so I am racking up on a few extra hours at work. I called Hero hellas this weekend. I missed him like crazy. Left him voicemails and stuff…I was drunk. Don’t know why I missed him…doubt that I want him…confused. Actually I think I want him later…to be my husband and my baby’s daddy. ‘Cause thru it all, I still know he is a good man and will make a good daddy. See we’re both very smart and goal oriented and supportive and stylish and freaky and stuff. But time came between us. Maybe once we both graduate and get settled and he’s had a taste of what’s out there and I get a grip on my emotions, we can fall in love all over again. But “The Rapper” put it on me something terrible this weekend. OHHH! Since I met him, he hasn’t been as nice as he was this past weekend. Lord knows I am wrong for writing about us. But last week he hadn’t called much and I thought he was actin’ kinda funny. But I didn’t say anything. But he must’ve known ‘cause Friday he called and said “I miss you so much, I hope you don’t think I kicked you to the curb, I’ve just been busy. So, what’s up for tonight?” He said he hadn’t slept in days. “Been in the studio like crazy.” So Friday, he came over after his shows and told me about how hectic things had been lately. And then he fell asleep. I am happy to be his resort. It makes me feel so good to know that after all the madness, he likes to come home with me and relax and be him and just feel good about sleeping in the same bed as me. But on Saturday, in the am or the early afternoon; Wow, wore it out. I had to quit. So right, that me, “Miss Cannot Cook”, tried to cook him some breakfast. I burned it but he still ate it. He said he couldn’t resist ‘cause even though it was crispy, he knew it was out of love. Love? Hmmm. That’s a thought. Today and tomorrow, I am gonna get back on top of school once again, so that when I return after this week off, I’ll be on the fast track to all A’s. I went to a party this weekend. A very classy laid back grown and sexy type thing. Met a new guy. He’s like 30, kinda old, but hella paid, hella classy, but still street. Something new to try maybe. Besides the fact that Hero wouldn’t talk to me, this weekend was like perfect. Went out without a lot of fuss, had some money in my pocket, got some action, went grocery and household shopping and spent quality time with friends. Oh, yeah, I should have went to church. Yeah, this weekend was almost perfect.

I'm Pissed

My friend's "boyfriend" asked her to give him a golden shower...right in his mouth. In order to refrain from becoming pornographic, I am just going to blog on my reaction as opposed to any urine related details. Okay, yeah, she told me this with very little reserve. Kinda like she knew it was nasty but she still thought it was cool. My immediate reaction was “Stop don’t tell me anymore if you want us to remain friends leave me out of this one because I am at this very moment losing respect for you” She said “That’s on him, if he wanted me to, he’s nasty.” She went on to say they didn’t kiss afterwards nor do they hardly kiss. My question is if your relationship is sooo causal that you don’t kiss how is it possible that you’re willing to exchange bodily fluids? I am meanwhile flabbergasted. What has the world come to and why has it come there. Seriously, had I been her and he said, QUOTE “I want to taste you” and then went on to explain himself. I would have said “Get your nasty good for nothing, disrespectful unsanitary azz out of my sight immediately.” Plus, they were in her bed. Ugh, he is below scum. Her for doing it, I don’t know. She is a really good friend of mine so it’s hard to say the things that I might if she weren’t important to me. But I just think his respect for her and her self respect as it relates to him is closer to none than slim. Plus her daughter sleeps in that bed. I doubt that he would do anything even similar in any place where he knew his children would lay their heads. This whole thing sux cause I can’t spend the night at her house anymore; which I used to do quite frequently just for fun or ‘cause its close to school and work. Plus I would ask him, probably using the majority of all existing curse words, “if we are not monogamous and you ask me to do this what the hell else have you been doing?” I don’t know, different strokes for different strokes, but respect is just the minimum!

Something to do..The bold is true!

Borrowed from afrochelle.com


01. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions
02. I don’t watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses
07. I love to play video games
08. I’ve tried marijuana
09. I’ve watched porn movies
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have acne free skin
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have hobbies
18. I’ve been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I’m really, really smart
21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I hate the rain
24. I’m paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
26. I need money right now
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really, really fast
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have semi-long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyes in the past
37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look (usually)
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
40. I know how to cornrow
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized
44. I think Britney Spears is hot
45. I have cheated on a Sig. O. in the past
46. I have a hidden talent
47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I think that I’m popular
49. I am currently single
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex
51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in sweatpants
53. I love to shop
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I’m obsessed with my Diaryland.
58. I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.
59. I’m a pretty good dancer
60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama
67. I have never been in a real relationship before
68. I’ve rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I’m not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest “Friday”4 dimes and a nickels’ new movie
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex
81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs at a party
84. I have made a move on a friend’s Sig. O. in the past
85. I own the “South Park” movie
86. I have avoided assignments at work to be online
87. When I was a kid I played “the birds and the bees” with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy country music
89. I would die for my best friends
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all (his music)
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story”
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a close friend’s ex
99. I’m happy as of this moment

Baby / Daddy Drama

I kinda want a baby. I was looking at some babies at the daycare and became obsessed with what my child would look like. And what I would name him/her, or them. I am convinced that my first pregnancy will result in multiple births. Just a hunch that I’ve always had. Even though, when I got my palm read – mistake- she didn’t tell me that. But I’ll never have a baby outta wedlock so right now pregnancy is not an option. But they are cute. In more important baby news… My damn daddy told my mom that he has a child on the way. Every time I ask him about it, he turns it into a joke. Does he have any idea that I would hate that lil’ fucker? Sure he does, ‘cause I told him. My parents are married, separated, still fucking. EWW! Anyway, yeah, he is saying behind my back that some lady is about to birth his first son. I would seriously cry tears if I got a new sibling- especially a STEP-sibling this late in my life. I cannot picture loving anybody else the way I love my sisters. Especially someone from a random funky birth canal that I’ve never seen. Nasty lil baby, I hate you. That statement sounds like the exact one that I’ll regret when I like the new kid. But knowing me, I doubt it. A great deal of pride lives in me because I have no step siblings. I like that. Plus I know this lil mofo doesn’t think he’ll be a JR. *I’m named after my father* I swear I will barf in his/her bottle if my dad brings it around. Ugggh, and the thought of kissing someone else’s son-not happening. My dad better be lying! My mom said "That's on the dumb bitch that would have a child by a broke-down 51 year old that can't take care of the three damned kids he has". She's so crazy!

What's my motivation?

I’m loving my new place. It’s kinda old school. At first I hated that but now I’ve flipped the script and learned to appreciate it within context. Anyway, is there a disease that robs you of your motivation? I never wanna do school work or go to school. I just wanna sleep, eat, and lay up with “The Rapper”. But he always pushes me to get up and go to school. That’s good I guess. Look at me falling back on my promise to him…o.k.…o.k.… I quit. But anyway, yeah, I have become obsessed with turning work in late. I get some kinda weird kick out of turning in work really late but doing such a good job on it that the professor can’t resist still giving me an A. It’s weird I know. But lets see, in other news, my blog has become boring and highly neglected. The recent posts don’t excite me at all. Gotta think of something.